I'm writing this today after admittedly taking offense from people, particularly those close to me and of spiritual likeness who "don't understand" or who are "confused" at what I'm doing. After I write this post, I'm going to lay this offense down, be done with it and let it go because I know that this is not a thing that is of God and will deter rather than further my mission. So here goes nothing...
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Running into my purpose? Ha, maybe! On set at a photoshoot for one of my music clients. |
I feel like sometimes when we have a dream or a vision albeit from God or otherwise, we seek acceptance and approval from others naturally. What is your first instinct when you have a dream or something that you want to accomplish? You want to go and tell all of your family and friends right? In doing that and not even on purpose, we have the ability to give these individuals so much power and influence over our decision in whether to continue or further whatever dream/vision has been placed on our heart.
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Me on set of a photoshoot for one of my music clients |
I always compare this situation to an episode of Say Yes to the Dress. The bride-to-be walks in knowing 100% that the dress she has on is "the one." She's brought her whole entourage of family and friends to the momentous occasion only to walk in and to be greeted with a bunch of frowns at the dress she so truly adores. It's a classic situation--bride walks away, discouraged, and this "dream dress" goes back on the rack, never to be purchased all because of dissenting opinions of close family and friends.
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Me with SMU football player and Calvin Klein model, Myles Crosby |
This is the same sometimes I feel of dreams and visions that we have. We disclose this to close family and friends and if they don't "get it" then we bury the dreams and go back to living our normal lives. I've been blessed (or maybe it's a curse) to be strong-willed and VERY independent. Four years ago, when I started my company and ventured out into fashion, EVERYONE thought I was crazy. I got the same question over and over..."Why would you go to law school, rack up over six figures in student loans, study and take a bar exam, excel in private practice and then (randomly) wake up and decide to go into fashion?"
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This is me in a nutshell...happy to enjoy life. This was taken at Suburbia Fest... |
I really didn't have an answer but to say, "Because that's what God put on my heart." Many didn't understand and I didn't have the time or patience to make people understand. I just knew that I had the same voice waking me up over and over and over again out of my sleep until I said, "Ok God--I'll do it...I'll go into fashion, I'll start a business, I'll empower women, I'm up for the challenge...I SAY YES." And like magic--the voice telling me to go into fashion and to become a personal shopper/stylist/image consultant went away. Coincidence? I think not!
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VIP Backstage at Suburbia Fest...I found rap star J. Cole's trailer! |
For years and really up until recently, I hid what I was doing. I was undercover going to fashion shows, events, networking, building up my business and writing on fashion. I knew that people wouldn't understand, so I didn't want their negativity to affect my mission. Frankly, I knew on the surface and at face value it wouldn't make sense to anyone; but underneath it all, my dreams, my visions in fashion made clear sense to me and to God and that's all that mattered to me at the end of the day.
Over the course of 4 years, my business and clientele has quadrupled, I have had the opportunity to meet and interview some of the top players in the fashion industry; I have positively impacted women's lives who come to me so broken and with little to no self-esteem left because of their outer appearance; I have partnered with highly recognized brands on blogging initiatives....and the list goes on. I know without a doubt that this is what I was made to do.
Just recently, I met with some folks from the church and received the same reaction...and one of the people I met with made the suggestion of me merging my law degree within fashion, which I knew immediately was not what God had for me. I politely replied, "I understand what you're saying, but that's not my ministry." This person pretty much ignored what I said and kept going on about how I could do this and that and fill the void in the fashion industry of doing fashion law, etc. etc. Again, I politely listened and said, "That's not my ministry. I've already created a committee within the Dallas Bar Association to semi-fill that void because I didn't have a passion in undertaking that avenue." I was really irritated and bothered that I had to repeat myself. See, to this person, it made sense on its face for me to merge law and fashion because that's what they saw as "making sense." I walked away from the conversation ticked because out of everyone who I believed could understand vision and purpose, I thought for sure it would be my spiritual peers.
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My awesome selfie with Eva Chen, Editor in Chief of Lucky Magazine |
After talking about the situation with my mother, I realized this person meant no harm. However, I was strong enough to know that what God has for me is for me and that at times it will make no sense to anyone else but me and Him. Our dreams will not make sense on a secular level but in His will and purpose, it's a PERFECT plan.
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Me headed to cover the DIFFA Masquerade ball..just finished getting my masquerade mask painted on my face at MakeUp Forever |
I write all of this to be encouraging. If you have a dream, don't just dream big...GO FOR IT! Don't listen to the naysayers. I have experienced that you can't expect people to be in your corner in the beginning, especially if your ideas are unconventional. Just keep at it and eventually they will come around...or not. If something nags at your heart, like my vision did--it may be your calling. Seek after God and His will for your life, and everything will fall into place. Take it from me...I listened and followed His calling, excelled at a rapid pace and have never looked back.
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A little selfie in the car (parked at a light) on my way to a wine and duck pairing with my sis and mama |
God please forgive me for quoting
Kanye West (lol) but I always think of this lyric when people try to bring negativity to my passion:
Now I could let these dream killers kill my self-esteem
Or use my arrogance as the steam to power my dreams
(Kanye West - Ego Remix w/ Beyonce)